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Just, in Thywill

"...could it be fate, or should I blame myself for being a virgin?  I am feeling the pain already and it hurts like a souring wound. I'm deeply sorry I can't take it, no... I can't!" I heard my lips utter as I screamed, struggling out of his bed. I feel ashamed and humiliated as I write this: it seems there are no more tears in my eyes. I may(do) not certainly have the right choice of words to
express, through this piece, the pain in my heart...
       My name is Kate, a student of Economics, UNN. This is my true, life story.
      Michael and I have dated for three weeks. We had met on a friend's birthday party. He was elegant, handsome and tall. Within these few weeks, we were intrigued with long stories! He called me on phone on a Friday evening, inviting me to his house. I refuted the invitation but he went on persuading me that I had to agree. After all it was a Friday and the following morning was weekend.
        I got to his house by 6:40pm. Although our relationship was still young, we were so cemented that we keep no secrete for each other. He told me how he broke up with his first girlfriend and how he had his first coital experience. I don't really like talking about sex. I've always listened to my roommates talk about how they had quality times with their boyfriends. Sometimes, they would describe the sizes of their dicks and how they were desperate to "penetrate." One of them had once said that his boo behaves like an epileptic patient at the sight of her pussy. Linda on her part, would prefer an interruptus to a protected coitus. She says the condom was made for whores and often,  it wastes time to put on if a sudden erotic stimulation occurs hence, reduces her sexual pleasure vis a vis satisfaction. To her, the condom is simply a "French letter".
      While I was lost in thought, he drew nearer... the perfume on his body was pleasant and refreshing. We were lost in mood that soon we began to kiss. He pulled off his trousers,  stripped my gown and drew out my underwear. He grabbed my boobs and caressed them down to my thighs, then to my genital regions. My nipples were now erect and I felt the areola around them becoming swollen and dusky. I could feel my heart beat at every touch of his fingers at the shaft of my clitoris. Soon, he changed to cunninglingus. At this point my body was beginning to shake and my muscles contracting convulsively at each move. "Stop!" I heard my self say, pulling his limbs out of my vulval region. "I can't do this, I've never had sex before" I said again, trying to avoid his desperate lips. He stared at me, I could see dejection and frustration in his eyes but I can't just help it. We've just known each other for just few weeks perhaps, if we must have sex, it must not be today. He didn't say a word rather, he drew closer trying to kiss me. "Please Mike, try and see reasons with me. I've not done this before and besides, I'm two days away from my period..." I murmured. "Baby, I'm not doubting your reasons but you know it's not right for you to leave me this way..." He finally dropped, directing his gaze at me. I could feel his pain too. I was also pleasured by the "moments" we had but I didn't want to be a "cheap bitch", not this first time of coming to his house.
       At this point I knew pleading with him would be futile, so I stood up to wear my cloth. He grabbed my backs, pushed me to the bed and tried lying on me.  I saw rage in his eyes and felt anger in his bones. That was when I said the words at the beginning of this write up, check back.
I looked at my wrist watch and it was past ten. By now they'd have locked my hostel, but I just had to take the cheaper risk, I thought. I struggled with him and finally stood up, not really by my strength but due to my yearnings. I wore my clothes and headed to the door. "Goodnight" he said, banging the door at me. While many thoughts were flowing in my mind, I felt deeply sorry for my comebacks. Right now, I just have to go back to school. Whichever way, I'd call my roommates to open the window for me or better still, I'd sleep in any of the classrooms with night class students. At this point, it was exactly 10:57pm by my time.
        Anyone who knows Greenhouse would bear with me that the route is always deserted at night, unlike Hilltop. Let's not talk about the distance to school. The night was dim and the darkness was frightful. Not a leaf stirred. I could only hear the sound of birds from the nearby bush. At a distance, I saw a torch light coming behind me. I was engrossed in fear but I tried not to run. The light became closer and soon, I began to hear foot steps...

         To be continued... 
By Thywill

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